When Life Doesn't Go According to Plan by Chase Butler
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By Chase Butler
I looked over at the large truck I was passing to my right. Stacked in the trailer behind it were wrecked cars headed to a junk yard. On the rear windshield of the last one was "JUST MARRIED!" I can just imagine the thought now, "Well, that didn't go according to plan," as the new husband looks up at the smashed hood of the car. His wife looks over, concerned and frustrated. "Are we going to miss our flight?" Life often doesn't always go as we imagine it in our minds. We dream up all sorts of stories about how things should be and find ourselves crushed when the proverbial car of our life is being towed to the salvage lot.
I looked over at the large truck I was passing to my right. Stacked in the trailer behind it were wrecked cars headed to a junk yard. On the rear windshield of the last one was "JUST MARRIED!"
I can just imagine the thought now, "Well, that didn't go according to plan," as the new husband looks up at the smashed hood of the car. His wife looks over, concerned and frustrated. "Are we going to miss our flight?"
Life often doesn't always go as we imagine it in our minds. We dream up all sorts of stories about how things should be and find ourselves crushed when the proverbial car of our life is being towed to the salvage lot.
I remember making the decision to change jobs about three and a half years ago. I saw an opportunity and believed I would immediately find the success I was looking for. As life often goes, I was served a large dose of humility.
I fell short of one personal goal after the next. First month, first three months, first year—all checkpoints I set for myself I came up drastically short on.
I vividly remember thinking, "This is not what I signed up for. I'm supposed to be breaking records and making lots of money." Instead, I was working really hard and feeling like I was making no progress, like a car in mud.
"We vastly overestimate what we can do in one year and underestimate what we can do in five," said at least five prominent thinkers as I tried to find the source of that quote.
It's true, and I don't know if it was determination or stubbornness, but I'm not the same person I was three and a half years ago, and my business looks much different too.
We have a tendency to give up too soon. We overgeneralize. We take small sample sizes of data and extrapolate them into huge conclusions.
This year was really hard, therefore, this opportunity sucks. This month was great, therefore, I can ease up my efforts and take my foot off the pedal. The fancy psychological term is called egocentric immediacy.
The same is true in all areas of life, relationships included. Are you in a marriage that feels "hard?" Are you telling the story so many young couples do of, "Marriage is so hard but so worth it," the second part through gritted teeth?
Don't give up too soon. Don't overgeneralize the good or the bad. Don't underestimate just how much can change in five years when you're consistent and focused, even when it feels like nothing is ever going to get better.
Chase Butler
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There seems to be a recurring topic that continues to come up in my life—the balance between contentment and goals. Do I appreciate what I have, and am I working towards something meaningful that forces me to grow? An either/or approach never works. On one hand, you lend yourself to apathy and stagnation. On the other, you live under the tyranny of nothing ever being enough, endless striving that costs you something you never intended. I don't pretend to have this figured out. Every once in a while, I sense the alignment between the two within myself, but it's normally a fleeting moment followed by the pendulum tipping back towards one side.
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There are moments when I long for an answer, clarity, inspiration, relief, or hope and receive nothing. Even in earnest seeking, eager anticipation, a proper posture, an open heart, a willing spirit—nothing. Then there are moments when I receive an answer, clarity, inspiration, relief, and hope when I least expect it. Not seeking, not anticipating, yet a glimpse is given. So what to conclude?
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If the idea of selling everything and living out of a backpack on the road sounds like a nightmare instead of a grand adventure, this post might not be for you. If challenging the status quo and questioning societal norms in the pursuit of a full and satisfying life sounds intriguing, then let's continue. The beauty of friendship is that conversations tend to draw out aspects of yourself that otherwise would have been left untouched and dormant, or at the very least overlooked or ignored.